I hope this catches my dream and make them all to reality.

It took me awhile to accept the fact. Took me a few tries to want you back, a few weeks to stop talking, stop thinking, stop everything. I did, for a short three weeks. When I know it could be fine, somehow, random things just triggered those fragile thoughts. Especially especially in the night. When I have so much alone time. I mean, sometimes, I really can't help it. It's like some nights, I will just randomly take a sneak peak at our conversations, hoping one day, I could see a 'typing...' or maybe just an 'online'. I would craft conversations in my mind, thinking how you'd reply. That's what I do, when I have random thoughts about you. 

Or when sometimes, random happy things occurred in the day that makes me feel so excited about my life, I would so much want to tell you. Let you know that I'm happy. And I'd be happier if you could feel me being happy. That's what you always wanted, me to be happy. Or maybe sometimes, when I'm so annoyed at things happening in the house, want to rant about how annoying some of my friends are, how screwed my work schedule is, I would so much want to let you know. Becus you'd just listen and at the end of the day, crack some jokes about the situation and I would just smile/laugh retardedly to the phone. That's so much I want to talk to you. 

But hey, I realised. I've lost you.

Even as a friend. Wanting to talk to you is actually a sin. I wouldn't dare to even do that. It's like, I know its just impossible. But if we talk, it will probably be harder. And I would think that, you'd probably don't even bother to take out the time just to hear me talk about my life. Cus it's probably none of your business anyway. 

They say 'If it's important, you will find a way. If not, you will find excuses'. To me, you were important, but finding a way seems difficult now. But to you, probably I'm not that important for you to find a way.

Babe. I miss you. Yes, I've been trying to move on ever since my last text. But I really don't want to give up on this shit so easily. Give up on the person whom I actually want to accompany for the rest of my life. I never want to give up. Just so you know.