When we create those memories.

Hey. One month without blogging and here it is August. School's starting in a week's time. I don't know whether to feel happy or :/ about it. Part of me hope that when school starts, I'll be more occupied to think of anything else. But another part of me kinda feel that, I will get reminded. All the encouragements, the morning calls, the night chats... Ah, something is wrong with me. Yes, its been 2 months plus? And no, I don't know whether I walked out already or not. Maybe I already did, but can't bear to leave those memories behind (Idk why the fuck though). So, its the month we both hoped for, I kinda looked forward to it then cus it will be the first time I'm celebrating the same occasion with you. Its like we could just sing to each other, blow candles together, simple things. But now, I dread for it to come because I don't even know how to live that day.

Ah, but seriously Stells, you need to get all these thoughts out of your mind. Really, no joke. You got to love yourself for once and stop hurting yourself with thoughts that will never happen, and with memories that won't happen again. You got to look around you for people who are there for you in your most down period and remind yourself they are there to help you be happy again. You already tell yourself that you're tired. Getting all sien at explaining things and telling people things. Why the fuck do you wna continue being tired as though you're not physically tired already. This door had closed already, there will probably be another one opening somewhere. You just need to slowly find it... right. 

Okay maybe not. I'm tired of finding those doors too. I just don't fit anyone.