i dont want such high expectations. my teacher told me that i am quite good in my stiudies already. they said i can go 2-2 is already good le. i actually think that you all will be ahppy for me caus ei din get any bad complains from ms johnson and also ms johnso din really say anything about HOW BADLY I DID FOR MY EXAMS. they din say this. i really thought you all will be ahppy that my english improve. you all wanted my english to improve greatly. now msjohnson said that my english improve the best one. you all still not satisfied and you all scolded me. what the hell. i did what i can already. and all of you just cant get satisfied. YOU ALL JUST GAVE ME STRESS. you know ? the kind of stress that other people wont have. you all will go : AIYAH.YOU CAN DONT STUDY LE LAR. MUGHT AS WELL GO BACK INDO STUDY BETTER. WASTE MY MONEY. i really really dont know what can i do further. i tried already. but my strength just reach there. blahh. i even got excellent for my remarks. I DID WHAT IS ENOUGH AND YOU ALL STILL NOT SATISFIED. i really should die. you just want the best in me. i cant do it.

all of you just want the best in me. i cant. i am weak. i am really a weak person. i am scared i will lose my friends because of you. i am scared i will suffer from illness because you force me to study. i am scared i will get further away from my friends because you dont let me hang out with them. i am scared yo fail any subjects or the overall because you will send me back to indo. i am scared to be sent back because i still want to be here living with my friends. do you understand ?? i am just a weak person. i am sacred of everything.

dont make me jump off the building. i really did my best.